Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make Me a Match

Okay, I'm not going to say for who, but I just did a little snoopin' around on the infamous Match.com. It's a pretty cool site. Who would've guessed that 1 in 6 marriages are a result of meeting through an online dating service? But more and more often, when I ask couples how they met, online is often the answer. It appears to serve a pretty broad range of folks, though it does seem to be more directed to folks near my age than seniors (one profile question asks which comedian you're most likely to find funny, and the choices were pretty limited). I mean what if you find old Erma Bombeck columns funny? Or Bob Hope reruns? Thank God that Betty White is still going strong!

Okay, so maybe you've figured out who I was doing this nosing around for based on the clue that she is more apt to guffaw at Erma Bombeck than at Jon Stewart, Jim Carrey, or Ellen DeGeneres. Heck, this certain someone has no idea who any of those comedians are! But she does have a sense of humor. So, although I hope she doesn't figure out (i.e. read this post) that I was searching for a decent chap for her, I'm sure she would laugh right along with me at some of the winners I found.

Of the first thirteen men who popped up in my search of guys over 70, not a single one had a maximum age range that fell above the 60s, and most of them are trolling for gals anywhere from 7 to 20 years younger! My favorite is the 85 year-old fellow looking for romance with a much younger woman, 18-35 to be exact. He describes himself as athletic and toned. Oh yeah, and dark blonde. Now that is funny.

I can't pick on all of them though, as there's one open-minded 70 year-old who put his match's preferred age range as 60-110. Bless him. And you can't help admire the octogenarian who's headline simply reads "still kickin". Maybe a good match for Betty!

This obsession that so many men seem to have for younger women isn't news to me. My husband (one of a rapidly declining number of men I know who are still married to their first wife), determines the acceptability of his divorced friends' dates by employing the "half your age plus 7 rule". Hmm. This sounded like some of that "new math" to me after his first explanation, and so naturally, I googled it; lo and behold, this rule's even recognized by Wikipedia!

Guys. Come on. It's one thing when you're 20 and she's 17, or even 30 versus 22, but after 40 it actually starts to be kind of pathetic. With more than 20 million men over 60, and many looking for love with someone in their 30s or 40s, no wonder Viagra is over a billion dollar a year business...

Now I know that occasionally, a May-December relationship can be wonderful. One of my dearest friends is married to someone more than 20 years her senior. And a beautiful marriage it is. But listen up to all of you other Lotharios out there, your mid-life crisis should be over by now. You're swimmin' in that river we like to call denial. And you have the nerve to call women in their 30s and 40s 'cougars'. Get a life.