Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Rich & Skinny?

A couple of weeks ago, I took my 16 year-old daughter on a rare shopping spree. It was Nordstrom's Half-Yearly Sale, and I am a big fan of Nordstrom. The first time I ever stepped foot into one was in White Plains, New York over fifteen years ago. A new mall, The Westchester, had recently opened and was not only head and shoulders above the old Galleria Mall, in terms of cleanliness, decor, parking, and shops - but also had Nordstrom as its flagship.

It only took one visit to the children's shoe department for me to be hooked. It didn't take long to discover the women's shoe department as well, and that was a dangerous thing...

So when Nordstrom opened in Cherry Creek a few years ago, less than half a mile from my front door, I knew this could be trouble. And, in fact, I resisted setting foot in there for over a year. But one day, my shoe fetish got the best of me, and that was the end of that!

Last year, my friend Judi, a fellow chick on MidChix, introduced me to their personal shopping service, and the best personal shopper ever, Reinelle Apodaca. This was the icing on the cake. So when 16 year-old Nicki needed some new duds, and a new attitude about getting dressed and feeling good, I headed over to Nordstrom and Reinelle. All in all, the day was a great success.

Mornings suddenly weren't so bad, as Nic could find things in her closet that fit and felt good! Never doubt the importance of feeling good about how you look (especially when you're sixteen)!

So it was with dismay, while picking up laundry a week or so later, I spotted a crumpled pair of jeans on the bathroom floor with the tags still attached. Picking them up, I glanced at the price tag and was shocked to see these not only had not been part of the half-yearly sale, but had also been more expensive than any pair of jeans I've ever owned. Realizing that the fact they were crumpled on the floor indicated that Nicki had tried them and decided they didn't look right (or as she prefers to say) that she couldn't 'work' them, with relief, I smoothed them out and folded them to return. That's when I saw the label.

Rich & Skinny

Oh man. Made in the USA. But, of course. What other country would have the audacity to name their company Rich and Skinny. How about Poor & Skinny? Or, a more authentic logo for American-made jeans, marketed to Americans might be Rich & Obese.

I'm glad she didn't like them. Not just because I'll get $150 credit back on my card, but because God forbid I ever support a company that makes its cash by covering ass with such a reprehensible logo.

I still love Nordstom, and Reinelle. But Rich & Skinny can go to hell.

Monday, November 22, 2010


That's the number of women that came to the Wardrobe Exchange benefiting Safehouse today. Actually, it was 9, but two came to be supportive-bless them- not to actually exchange.

It isn't that I'm not appreciative of the gals that came, or understanding of those who said they would, but didn't. It's just that I'm tired. Discouraged. Pensive. Flummoxed.

How can anybody possibly make an impact, make a difference, or even make a gesture, in a world so overrun with demands that 300 invitations result in 200 unopened? Even after eschewing Evite for the more costly, but ostensibly classier, Paperless Post.
Even when the event ran from 9AM to 9PM in an effort to accomodate all schedules. Even though we planned for the Monday before Thanksgiving rather than the Monday after (when holiday demands multiply).

Thank goodness for the kind souls who did show up.

I met two new friends, Astrid and Vicki, and that made it all worthwhile. It was also a powerful reminder of the lesson I learned from James Pond a few weeks ago. One girl at a time.

One woman at a time. One connection at a time. THAT is how I...you... we... will, can , must make a difference.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make Me a Match

Okay, I'm not going to say for who, but I just did a little snoopin' around on the infamous Match.com. It's a pretty cool site. Who would've guessed that 1 in 6 marriages are a result of meeting through an online dating service? But more and more often, when I ask couples how they met, online is often the answer. It appears to serve a pretty broad range of folks, though it does seem to be more directed to folks near my age than seniors (one profile question asks which comedian you're most likely to find funny, and the choices were pretty limited). I mean what if you find old Erma Bombeck columns funny? Or Bob Hope reruns? Thank God that Betty White is still going strong!

Okay, so maybe you've figured out who I was doing this nosing around for based on the clue that she is more apt to guffaw at Erma Bombeck than at Jon Stewart, Jim Carrey, or Ellen DeGeneres. Heck, this certain someone has no idea who any of those comedians are! But she does have a sense of humor. So, although I hope she doesn't figure out (i.e. read this post) that I was searching for a decent chap for her, I'm sure she would laugh right along with me at some of the winners I found.

Of the first thirteen men who popped up in my search of guys over 70, not a single one had a maximum age range that fell above the 60s, and most of them are trolling for gals anywhere from 7 to 20 years younger! My favorite is the 85 year-old fellow looking for romance with a much younger woman, 18-35 to be exact. He describes himself as athletic and toned. Oh yeah, and dark blonde. Now that is funny.

I can't pick on all of them though, as there's one open-minded 70 year-old who put his match's preferred age range as 60-110. Bless him. And you can't help admire the octogenarian who's headline simply reads "still kickin". Maybe a good match for Betty!

This obsession that so many men seem to have for younger women isn't news to me. My husband (one of a rapidly declining number of men I know who are still married to their first wife), determines the acceptability of his divorced friends' dates by employing the "half your age plus 7 rule". Hmm. This sounded like some of that "new math" to me after his first explanation, and so naturally, I googled it; lo and behold, this rule's even recognized by Wikipedia!

Guys. Come on. It's one thing when you're 20 and she's 17, or even 30 versus 22, but after 40 it actually starts to be kind of pathetic. With more than 20 million men over 60, and many looking for love with someone in their 30s or 40s, no wonder Viagra is over a billion dollar a year business...

Now I know that occasionally, a May-December relationship can be wonderful. One of my dearest friends is married to someone more than 20 years her senior. And a beautiful marriage it is. But listen up to all of you other Lotharios out there, your mid-life crisis should be over by now. You're swimmin' in that river we like to call denial. And you have the nerve to call women in their 30s and 40s 'cougars'. Get a life.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

New and Improved!

In two weeks, MidChix will migrate to a new and improved site and raison d'ĂȘtre as a social networking community for women who are curious and concerned about social responsibility.

Fourteen months ago, we launched as a boutique social-networking site for women over 40, with the knowledge that mid-life women have a firm grip on more than 85% of the consumer marketplace. During our evolution, we've come to realize that beyond just purchasing power, we make a significant philanthropic impact too. Reminding the 'powers-that-be' that politics is about people, women are making strides in the political arena as well.

A first wave of feminism, the 70-year battle for women's suffrage (1850-1920), was followed in the mid-1960s by a second wave precipitated by publication of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique and President Kennedy's 1963 Report on the Status of Women, which documented women's economic inequalities. The growing recognition of a third wave taking shape, as described by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. in her 2005 visionary call-to-action Urgent Message from Mother: Gather the Women, Save the World, is evidenced by the growing knowledge that women and girls aren't the problem, they're the solution.

Up 'til now, we've devoted an area of the site to featuring and fundraising for nonprofit organizations; now MidChix is re-launching as a niche social networking site specifically geared towards women curious about social change. We hope to educate and empower women by raising awareness about alternatives for allocating our individual resources, and the ability to affect change through activism.

The Mid in MidChix refers to Middle. In the middle of our lives, we have arrived at a place with a view very much like that from the center span of a bridge. We can see things from a unique perspective that makes us a little different from those gals closer to one end of the bridge or the other. We also serve as middle(wo)men in myriad relationships: between father and child, young and old, doctor and patient, teacher and student, conservative and liberal, gregarious and shy, rich and poor, producer and consumer...all often depend on our painstakingly-acquired skills of communication, cooperation, and collaboration.

Chix is our way of saying "hey, in case there's any doubt, we're cool". Plus, birds are pretty perfect representatives of women. With 10,000 living species, they have unique characteristics and universal charm ;)...

New and Improved. That's Me. And You. Okay, Us. After 40 years (give-or-take) becoming who we are, it's a rare bird who can't be called new and improved!

So MidChix, we welcome you. Please visit our wire, add your voice to our song, and celebrate because together we just may change the world!

(You can start today by reading about National Call-in Day -Wednesday November 17th)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Write your book!

I'm jazzed about writing my book, and have finally started taking some steps. I call it my book in blogress. Hope you'll start reading and keep me writing!

Guest blogger Lisa Schultz published her first book, Speaking Your Truth, just a few months ago. Today, she and Andrea Costantine launch their guide to writing and self-publishing. From what I can see, they know what they're talking about!

Five Stellar Reasons to Write Your Book This Year

Are you a part of the 81% of the population who says they want to write a book? Then isn’t it time to forge ahead and move into the small minority who actually puts pen to paper and gets a book on the shelf?

Here are five stellar reasons to write your book this year.

There’s no better time than now. It seems it should go without saying that there’s no better time than right now to do anything that is on your list of goals and dreams. Yet, so many people put off their dreams until the time is “right.” There’s not right time to do anything. If you want something, you’ve got to make it the right time. If you don’t write your book this year, ten years from now you could find yourself in the exact place you are in right now. No book and wishing you had one.

Credibility. This is a fun one. It’s hard to explain the sheer bliss that comes with having a finished book in print and on the bookshelf, with your name on it. It is by far one of the biggest satisfactions in life and a goal that is tangible, that you can touch and feel. Not only does it boost your own confidence level, your credibility will also go through the roof. Having a book in print puts you at the top of the “credibility food-chain” –beefing up your list for potential clients, business partners, and even your family will think you are cooler than before.

Share your message with the world. Do you have a message that you are eager to share? Whether through fiction or non-fiction a book can touch and inspire others in a tremendous way. If the burning desire is there to reach others through the written word – write that book. You just never know who will be reading it on the other end, and how many lives you can change.

Create an extra income stream. An extra source of income never hurts. Having a book is a great way to create an alternative or extra income. Through your website, speaking engagements, bookstores, or online – do your marketing and sit back and enjoy the royalties.

Use it as a platform. A book is by far one of the easiest and fastest ways to build a platform. As a speaker, workshop leader, coach, or other service provider – your book will be the gateway for bigger and better opportunities to knock upon your door.

And if you are ready to take the leap and write your book this year, then check out Andrea Costantine and Lisa Shultz’s latest book… www.bringyourbooktolifethisyear.com– Grab your copy today and receive two months accountability and writing support in their monthly mentoring group and other bonuses valued at $150.

Friday, November 5, 2010

More of It Gets Better

My friend, Zach Page, posted this beautiful reflection on Facebook today. It's too important not to share...

It Gets Better

I want to first of all extend a thank you to all who were involved in my project. It means so much to me that we can gather enough people to start a movement. A force. Something bigger than bullying. Something that can bring change to the world.

To Jeremy Make, thank you SO much. Without you, this project would not have happened. If it wasn't for your absolute commitment, dedication, and passion for this issue, I wouldn't of had such a perfect glossy product. A million thank you's to you for everything.

To John Moore and Kirk Montgomery, thank you so much for helping me spread this word through the media. Without you, it wouldn't be getting half the attention it is getting.

And to my father, thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me life. For giving me smiles, laughs, frowns, cries, and anger. Thank you for teaching me that it's okay to have feelings and for teaching me to love who I am. This started with you. Without you, I could not have done this. Without you, I would not be who I am and I am eternally grateful to be blessed with an absolutely flawless father like you. I really love you.

This project, though it has only been in the making for three weeks, has been something I have felt needed to happen for a long time. Several people have asked me what my personal views on bullying are and what this video is about. I personally believe bullying is a direct result of neglect in the bullies life. People bully because it's easy and because they can't find somebody to love them in their own lives and they bring up these angers, pains, and scars to hurt others. This video is to prevent this from happening. To show that everyone is loved be them a bully, a bullied, an adult, a teenager, a child, a homosexual, a heterosexual, an African American, Asian, a woman, a man, Hispanic, Jewish, Catholic, Mormon, Caucasian, someone with glasses, braces, acne, anything. This video is to show them they are loved. Everyone is loved.

If we start in our households, that will branch out into our community, which will branch out to our country, which will branch out to the world. One individual has the power to change the world into a place of tolerance, acceptance, equality, and hope. I encourage everyone who is reading this to volunteer with organizations, spread the word, share this video, help anyone in need, and ultimately, this world will change.

I am humbled I have the chance, at eighteen years of age, to be able to be a part of this. I am absolutely grateful that I have people supporting me in this endeavor because I know that I am not alone. I know I have a purpose and I know that together we can make a change. I may only be eighteen, but I already know it gets better. I know it gets better because I have family and friends who support and love me and that for me is satisfaction enough to live every day with pride.

We can do this together. We can all hold hands, spread positive energy, and do something for the better. One of the quotes I live every day of my life by was said by Mahatma Gandhi.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

It speaks for itself.

Now please, enjoy It Gets Better: a message from the Colorado theater community.